Clifford Robinson (Det) on his Celebriduck
giveaway (and duck's body and player's likeness for the face with a
beak): "Look what they've reduced me to - a duck. It's not something
that's going to end up on my collectible shelf. I would much rather
be a big-head bobble-head than a whack quack."
Cleveland coach John Lucas one what he wrote
on the board: "I put Phil Jackson's name up there, along with Kobe
Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal. I told them, 'You guys probably want
Phil Jackson. I probably want these guys. What we have is each
Minnesota GM Kevin McHale on Kevin Garnett's
tirade in an ESPN Magazine interview: "Look, guys say a lot of
things and I don't put too much credence in it. Maybe they got him
on a day when his milk was too warm for his Coco Puffs."
5/21 Jason Kidd (NJ) on the 177 field goal
attempts and 107 field goals missed during Tuesday's NJ-Bos game:
"It wasn't a shootout. More like we were building a house. Both
Sgt. Kirk Hartwell, who arrested Kwame Brown
(Was) for going 120 mph in a 60 mph construction zone: "He just kept
saying 'Michael Jordan is going to kill me.'"
3/7 Ref Luis Grillo on calling a foul on
Popeye Jones during a Was-Mem game: "54 is dancing with Battier!"
2/22 The LA Clippers placed Corey Maggette
on IR with dislocated ring and little fingers on his right hand.
Maggette suffered the injury when he pounded the scorer's table in
Don Nelson on Dirk Nowitzki's new crew cut:
"I didn't know he was that ugly. I thought he was a pretty good
looking fella when he had hair, but, oh my goodness, did that bring
out all his bad features or what. He's going to be single all the
rest of his life!"
David Robinson (SA) after Clifford Robinson
(Det) went 1-5 FG in a Det-SA game: "I hate to do it, but I have to
give Steve Smith some credit for his defense. Steve did a nice job
of yelling for help every time Cliff got the ball."
Scott Skiles (Pho coach), who has been
practicing with his team, on the possibility of returning to play:
"My problem would not be, 'Can I play in the game?' It would be,
'Can I get up the next morning?' That's one of the reasons I stopped
playing. I got tired of crawling to the breakfast table the next
12/8 We have a candidate for this year's
most bizarre injury. Dirk Nowitzki (Dal) suffered a strained tendon
in his left ankle putting on his shoe. The injury occurred when
Nowitzki had put his left shoe on and stomped his foot before tying
his shoe to make sure it was all the way on and strained the tendon
with the stomp. He missed the Washington game that night due to the
Doug Collins (Was) on his plan to reduce his
rotation from 12 to 8 players: "It's like lard. It's shortening."
(a college one, but made me laugh) Baylor
coach Dave Bliss on coaching the emotional and occasionally erratic
Wendell Greenleaf: "It's like being a state trooper. There's lots of
boredom with moments of sheer terror."
10/7 Kenyon Martin (NJ) on his improved
conditioning and confidence: "Trust me, it's 360 from where it was."
[Martin will get along great with new teammate Jason Kidd, who as a
rookie with Dallas told the press that they were going to turn the
team around 360 degrees - a sadly accurate prediction.]
10/7 David Robinson (SA) on Avery Johnson no
longer being with the Spurs: "It's strange not having Avery. You get
used to hearing that voice all the time."
5/1 Olden Polynice (Uta) on Dallas' 107-77
win: "Coach told us, 'Don't get into a track meet.' We got into a
track meet with Marion Jones and Carl Lewis - and we're running like
3/9 Kevin Garnet (Min) on Miami's defense:
"They're really aggressive. They're like roaches on bread - you drop
some on the floor and, boom, they're on it."
Dikembe Mutombo (Atl) on his technical for
wagging his finger after a block: "I can not do the finger wave to
the guy after I block a shot, I have to do it to the crowd. I did it
to the crowd, but the referee said there was a bench in front of the
1/17 Dale Davis (Por) missed Tuesday's game
due to a strained back muscle. He reportedly strained his back when
he got out of bed the wrong way. Talk about a day you should have
stayed in bed.
1/17 Kevin Garnett (Min): "I'm like Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reindeer. If I'm not ready, the sled isn't going to
1/17 Say what? Lenny Wilkens (Tor) on
possibly winning the Central division title: "Don't get caught
looking at the apple in case someone takes the ladder away."
1/12 The NBA fined Mark Cuban (Dal owner)
$100,000 for "decorum not becoming an NBA owner" for sitting on the
floor along the baseline during Wednesday's Dal-Min game.
Ron Mercer on Chicago: "The majority of
time, it seems to be one thing or the other."
10/13 Detroit, in trying to generate some
toughness, was bring their starters through a row of chest-bumping
teammates during introductions. Friday night, Eric Montross came
down the line, got a chest bump from a teammate, and fell down.
Christian Laettner on a reported fight on an
airplane between him and then teammate Jerry Stackhouse (from rival
UNC and came out of school early): "It wasn't a fight. He punched me
one time, that's all. I don't fight at 30,000 feet. I have an
the news conference introducing Alvin Gentry as new coach of the LA
Question: Didn't you have any friends warning you not to take the
job with the Clippers?
Gentry: They all encouraged me to take the job.
Question: You don't have any friends, do you?
Charles Barkley on teammate Cuttino Mobley:
"He's instant offense, on both ends of the floor, I might add."
Alonzo Mourning on winning the Defensive
Player of the Year award: "I thank my teammates for letting their
men blow by them."
Mikki Moore [unintentionally explaining
Detroit's troubles this season]: "We have to play hard for the full
40 minutes." Informed a game goes for 48 minutes: "48? Oh, that's
right. 12-minute quarters."
David Robinson on watching San Antonio's
comeback win over Portland from the locker room after he was ejected
with 3 minutes left and San Antonio down by 7 points: "I felt like I
didn't have a date on New Year's Eve. I was jumping around by myself
The leading candidate for this season's most
bizarre injury: Muggsy Bogues (Tor) missed the 2nd half of Monday's
Por-Tor game because he accidentally inhaled a muscle ointment
during a halftime treatment and he then complained about dizziness.
Bogues: "Never happened to me before and I hope it never happens
again. That was one of those fluke things you don't even dream
Joe Kleine on playing another season: "It's
pretty simple. I was sitting at home at the end of August and
somebody called me up and said, 'Who wants to be a millionaire?' I
said, 'I do.' And they said, 'Is that your final answer?' I said,
'Let me call my lifeline.' So I called Dana [his wife] and she said,
'If you don't take it, I'll kill you.'"
Kevin McHale: "If a nuclear bomb dropped on
earth, two things would survive: roaches and David Falk."
1/5 Doc Rivers (Orl) after Wednesday's Orl-Van
win: "Winning is like deodorant - it comes up and a lot of things
12/8 Charles Barkley (Hou) at the start of
the press conference following his career ending injury where he
ruptured the quadriceps tendon in his left knee in the Phi-Hou game:
"Well guys, I guess that sex is definitely out of the question
Charles Barkley on his thoughts about
retiring before the season: "I remember sitting down with the
Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well,
we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'"
Will Perdue on continuing Phil Jackson's
handing out books to players and on the books Perdue handed out to
the young Bulls: "books with all pictures in them. That makes things
a little easier. We have enough trouble learning the offense right
now. We don't need these guys thinking deep inner thoughts."
Coaches will now be subject to testing for
drugs during training camp. That includes performance enhancing
substances. Asked one unnamed coach: "Does that include Viagra?"
Avery Johnson on coach Gregg Popovich trying
to calm him down: "I tell Pop it's better to tame a lion than it is
to pump up a pussycat."
Shaquille O'Neal on the Lakers: "If the
popcorn gets hot at the right time, then it's good enough to eat.
Right now, the popcorn is still a little brown seed."
4/10 Only in a Golden State-Dallas game can
you have one of the boneheadest plays ever topped by an even more
boneheaded play. When I saw it live, I was completely confused as to
what had just happened (they never showed a replay in the arena). I
knew that something _very_ wrong had just happened, but my brain
couldn't accept what it was. My confusion greatly increased when
Golden State inbounded the ball and headed the other way down the
court. A few minutes into the 4th quarter, Robert Pack and Terry
Cummings had a jump ball at the Mavs' end of the court. Chris Mills
got the ball and went for the layup, but Samaki Walker came over and
blocked the ball and the refs called a foul on Walker. Of course,
Mills was shooting at the Mavs' basket. The refs huddled to figure
out how to handle the call. P.J. Carlesimo wanted it to be a
shooting foul, but gave up that argument when the ref responded with
okay, but Mills had to shoot at the Mavs' basket. It ended up being
a non-shooting foul with Golden State inbounding the ball on the
side. Mills was able to laugh about it after the game and Walker
wouldn't talk to the media about it. Walker got razzed by his
teammates when he returned to the bench at the next timeout. The
irony of the whole thing was that Dallas lost by 1 point.
4/12 There have been a couple of humorous
injuries/illnesses that have kept players out of games this season
[chicken pox (Muggsy Bogues), tonsillitis (Corey Benjamin), turf toe
(Rex Chapman)], but the listing in last night's Denver-Golden State
game of "McRae DNP - fainted" caught my eye and I had to find out
the story. So, I give you this year's winner of the most bizarre
injury. Conrad McRae, who Denver signed to a 10-day contract on
Friday, was unaccustomed to the thin air in the high altitude of
Denver and over did his pre-game sprinting and fainted. He was
treated by paramedics and did not play in the game for precautionary
reasons. [My debate about whether or not to remove this resulted in
my leaving this and adding a reality check note. McRae's fainting
caused Denver's medical staff to evaluate him further and discovered
that he had a heart condition and advised him that he should not
play basketball again. He ignored that advice and died in June 2000
during a basketball practice.]
Jayson Williams on Dominique Wilkins'
performance on March 30 where he scored 17 points in 13 minutes in
Orlando's 100-98 win over New Jersey: "He came in and got 13 shots
in 13 minutes. It takes me 3 weeks to get 13 shots."
Kevin McHale on the Stephon Marbury trade
and Marbury's agent David Falk: "When [Falk] said, 'I'm going to
help you,' that's when I knew we were in trouble. When an agent says
those 5 words, cover your wallet and run like hell.
Bison Dele on not wanting to talk after
Detroit's loss to Toronto: "We're modern day gladiators. I don't
recall anybody ever interviewing losing gladiators." Reporter:
"That's because they were dead." Dele: "My point exactly."
Pat Riley, well know for his attempts to
motivate his team, once while with the Lakers tried to to throw a
chair, only to find that it weighed more than he hought and he was
only able to move it a few feet. Kurt Rambis: "That might have
motivated me after I was done laughing."
Kurt Rambis on his new coaching job: "I'm
spending more time with reporters than I do my wife."
Jayson Williams (NJ) on coach John Calipri
and the Nets recent struggles: "We have to get him looking like
Fonzie again. He's starting to look like Mr. C."
Agent Keith Glass on how the new collective
bargaining agreement will affect agents: "We're like rats; we
Nick Van Exel (LAL) on defending the
Stockton-Malone pick-and-roll: "Yeah, I got a way to defend it.
Bring a bat to the game and kill one of them."
Brian Williams when asked if Detroit could
bounce back from two tough losses: "We don't bounce anymore. We just
Coach Bill Hanzlik on Denver's 10th victory,
avoiding NBA futility: "It doesn't mean we get to cut down the nets.
But we don't have to cut our own throats."
Ref Joey Crawford calling a foul on Stokjo
Vrankovic (LAC): "Loose ball foul on whatever the hell his name is."
Erick Strickland (Dal) when asked how things
were going with the Mavs: "Like we've just finished five rounds in
the ring with Mike Tyson."
Brian Williams (Det) on Isiah Thomas: "Light
travels faster than sound, so some people appear to be bright until
you hear them speak."
2/18 Sam Cassell on a 114-104 New Jersey
loss to Atlanta: "We really didn't deserve to win. They didn't
either. It should have been a tie."
Todd Fuller (GS), who is taking flying
lessons to get a pilot's license: "All of a sudden, there's this
loud noise outside the cabin. I'm thinking, 'Oh my gosh, the wing's
fixing to fall off.' We landed at the nearest airport. My instructor
got out and we found out it was just the end of my seatbelt. I had
closed my door on it and it was slapping against the fuselage."
2/2 Phil Jackson on Chicago's 111-72 win
over Denver: "I thought the national anthem was the highlight out
1/20 Utah PA announcer Dan Roberts: "Not
dressed tonight due to pregnancy is Adam Keefe." Keefe's wife gave
birth to twins.
Toronto (4-26) coach Darrell Walker's New
Year's resolution: "Not to kill myself."
Detroit assistant coach Alvin Gentry wanted
to see if any of his players actually read his pregame chalkboard,
so he wrote "First one to trainer's room, $100," and waited. It took
11 minutes before rookie Scot Pollard approached him for the money.
12/7 Reggie Miller (Ind) on his game winning
shot vs Phoenix: "It was so quiet you could hear a rat pee on
11/11 Michael Finley (Dal) on the Mavs' lost
to the Lakers: "Some nights you're the Louisville Slugger and some
nights you're the ball. Tonight, we were definitely the ball. We got
hit, and we got hit hard."
Larry Johnson (NY) after New York's season
opening win against Charlotte October 31: "I think this is the best
game we played all year."
Rick Pitino on coaching the Celtics this
year: "I think challenges keep you forever young. And I've
discovered the fountain of youth. I'm Peter Pan with this one.
10/22 Avery Johnson (SA) on NBA ref Violet
Palmer: "Nobody in their right mind is going to say anything to her
because you know the NBA will fine you." When someone noted that
Charles Barkley had already made disparaging remarks about the
female refs, Johnson responded, "I said nobody in their right mind."
Marko Milic (Phi): "Who is Ben Franklin? I
sure do see his name a lot around here."
Malik Sealy, who played the past 3 seasons
with the Clippers, on signing with Detroit: "I'm happy to be here.
It's great to be back in the NBA."
Sgt. John Edmundson on Shawn Kemp's car
accident where Kemp hit a fire hydrant and a stop sign: "There was
no evidence of him being under the influence. And we won't charge
him with murder for killing the hydrant."
Scottie Pippen when asked which team has the
ugliest uniform: "Flip a coin between Atlanta and Houston and hope
it doesn't come down."
Jim Cleamons: "Like I told the team at
halftime, Stevie Wonder, Roy Orbison and Ray Charles could have hit
some of those shots - or at least come close. We acted like 12
people who were dropped down from outer space, put uniforms on and
played like we had never seen one another before."
Jim Durham, in his usual punny way [he does
Mavs broadcasts], had Reggie Theus cracking up with his reply to
Theus' comment that Karl Malone was talking to the ball prior to a
free throw shot to try to help his poor free throw shooting: "Maybe
he's just trying to put some English on it."
On the lighter side (and especially for
those who gave me a hard time for mis-expanding NB into Nebraska):
When asked how many provinces there are in Canada, Tony Massenburg (Tor)
asked back: "What's a province?"
The LA Lakers re-signed Superman Kurt Rambis
to up their training camp rosters to 14. Rambis: "I didn't have any
speed, quickness or jumping ability to begin with, so I haven't lost
any of that. We didn't have enough players in camp. We didn't have
the numbers; we needed an extra body. So, an old, decrepit,
burned-out, washed-out, has-been body was better than no body.''
11/3 Doc Rivers, a good friend of Terry
Davis', drew an offensive foul by flopping to the floor. Terry,
humorously, grabbed Rivers by the jersey. That's when he got the T.
Terry said to Rivers, "Doc, tell him we're friends." Rivers
answered, "Nah. I don't know what they're doing, but we need the
Jason Kidd, who was assigned to guard Reggie
Miller for a bit after Jim Jackson allowed Miller to get several
layups early in the Ind-Dal game: "Reggie asked me what I was doing.
I said, 'I'm chasing you.'"
Joe Kleine (Pho): "Charles [Barkley] and I
have no-trade clauses. His is written in. Mine, well, nobody wants
to trade for me."
Dallas radio play-by-play announcer Ted
Davis: "[LAC Stanley] Roberts slipped and fell. Is there a dent in
Dallas PA announcer Kevin McCarthy, who
recently had surgery on a reoccurring inner ear problem that he has
had surgery on before: "Now I know why they call it the _practice_
of medicine. They don't call it the practice of basketball or the
practice of broadcasting."
Dick Motta on why he doesn't wear his
championship ring (77-78 with Washington): "It's too big. Every time
I pick my nose it draws too much attention."
With three of their big men out injured
(Popeye Jones, Cherokee Parks, and Terry Davis), Dallas has been
playing a run-and-gun game for the past two games. As a result, the
team has set the NBA record for 3-pointers made (18 vs Den) and
3-pointers attempted (44 vs Van). Instead of running the usual layup
drill before the Vancouver game and during halftime, the team ran a
3-point drill. With the enhanced shooters' mentality, several
players have taken on new nicknames: George "The Duke" McCloud,
Jason "Doc Holiday" Kidd, Jim "Wyatt Earp" Jackson, Tony "Billy the
Kid" Dumas, and Lucious "Clint Eastwood" Harris.
7/2 Michael Jordan in response to the
current rumors that he will return to basketball next year: "I just
don't like to say never; I don't like to close doors - but if you
want me to say it: OK - never. I will never play basketball again,
9/31 There was some hangup about the
contract - there usually was when it came to Kevin Willis - and
Atlanta president Stan Kasten figured he had taken care of his end.
"Have you talked to Keith or Robert?" Kasten
Those two men, Kasten believed, represented
Willis. They also
were Willis' brothers. He had spoken to them
many times, all by phone.
"You mean Robert Keith?" Willis said.
"Robert. Keith. Either one," Kasten said.
"There's only one," Willis said.
Kasten was stupefied. Only then, some two
years into Willis' contract and after umpteen conversations with
what he thought were two different people, did Kasten finally learn
that Robert and Keith were the same person.
Willis now has a different agent. Although
Kasten still has occasional contractual troubles with Willis, it is
nothing compared with the days of Robert Keith. Or was it Keith
Robert. Kasten still isn't sure.
11/8 Sean Rooks on his trade to Minnesota
for a 1st round draft pick: "Last Year, I was a trade rumor all
year. It seemed like they practically wanted to give me away for
doggy biscuits. So this is kind of nice."
Dick Motta prior to last Saturday's
pre-season game where he planned (and did) to play all 18 players:
"It'll be a Chinese fire drill. It'll be horrible."
"I thought in overtime you got another
foul." Coach John Lucas (Phi) on trying to send Shawn Bradley, who
had fouled out in the 4th quarter, into an overtime game against New
Former Clipper coach and current Seattle
assistant coach Bob Weiss: "I never got a California driver's
license. If I ever got stopped, I was going to tell the cop, 'I'm
the Clippers coach. I'm not going to be here that long."
Danny Schayes (Pho) when asked if he was
pumped to play the LA Lakers, one of his four former NBA teams: "If
I worried about all the teams I used to play for, I wouldn't get any
sleep." 15 of Phoenix's games this season involves Schayes' old
Dallas coach Dick Motta on his first year as
an NBA coach with the Chicago Bulls (68-69): "We were for sale. We
didn't know if we were going to be the Toronto Bulls or the LA
Bulls. They offered to sell the ballclub to me and the team. They
bought it for $1.2 million. They offered to sell it to us for
$600,000. They would carry the loan, no interest. But I wouldn't
have touched it with a 10-foot pole." On the announced crowd of 891
at Chicago Stadium on November 7, 1968: "We padded that. That night,
we actually had about 60 people there. After that, Walter Kennedy's
(NBA commissioner) instructions to us were, 'There are always at
least 1,000 people at every game.'"
Shaquille O'Neal (Orl) on Dennis Rodman
(SA), who said that O'Neal does not rebound as well as he should for
his size: "Me responding to Rodman is like talking to a Bugs Bunny
doll. I don't like to talk to Looney Tunes."
Charles Barkley after Phoenix won 108-107 in
Philadelphia Friday night after taking advantage of some lucky
breaks: "Okay everybody, we're going to Atlantic City. I'm giving
And a non-NBA funny: The Ottawa Rough Riders
drafted a dead defensive lineman in the Canadian Football League
dispersal draft. The headline in the local paper read: "Rough Riders
Draft a Real Stiff".
Scott Williams (then Chi) took the prize
with weirdest injuries last season with a bowling injury, injury due
to lifting a TV, and injury while stretching. Charles Barkley (Pho)
is this year's winner. Barkley burned the first layer of his corneas
when he rubbed his eyes because of the bright stage lights at an
Eric Clapton concert. A chemical reaction occurred due to the body
lotion Barkley had been using. The eyes are just irritated - no
permanent damage. He will miss Phoenix's first game due to his eyes
and his strained stomach muscle. He is listed as game-to-game.
The rain man came to San Antonio, but not in
the form of Shawn Kemp. An indoor fireworks display during the
player introductionsset off the Alamodome sprinkler system,
including a large water cannon. Fans, players, and coaches were
drenched by the indoor shower that lasted for about 4 minutes and
distributed 12,000 gallons of water. The game was not a washout, but
was delayed for 50 minutes.
A Nike ad showing in Japan has an American
going up to some Japanese boys who were shooting around and teaches
them how to trash talk. CNN correspondent Bill Dorman: "Roughly
translated, (it means), "Your mother's belly button sticks out."
Some of the better 3-point shooters have
been complaining about the shortened 3-point line. I've heard
comments from Danny Ainge and Reggie Miller. Now add Dale Ellis
(Den): "Next thing you know, they'll move the free-throw line in a
couple feet and give you four shots to make two."
Dallas coach Dick Motta has picked up a
couple of technicals for his reactions to the inconsistent foul
calling in pre-season. When asked what he said to get a T in
Wednesday night's game, Motta said, "Nothing. I only say the proper
things, and that bothers them (the refs)." On Thursday night, he
picked up another T for encouraging the fans who were booing all the
calls (whether the foul was against Dallas or Indiana). Motta, who
has been out of the league for 3 years: "He (ref Billy Oakes) came
up and said, 'You know, technicals aren't $25 anymore'."
11/20 Dick Motta on 7'6" Shawn Bradley:
"He's tall, really tall." Anything else? "He's tall, really tall.
Good athlete. He's tall."
Rolando Blackman on the Greek he needs to
learn for his stay with Aek team of the Greek Basketball League:
"The first phrase I want to learn is 'Give me the ball.' The second
is 'Get out of the way.' The rest will take care of itself."
12/25 Motta: "We were at Golden State in
1980, my first year here. They had a halftime act with a huge Bengal
tiger and a monkey. The monkey would shoot basketballs and the tiger
would go retrieve them. I watched the act for awhile and then I
asked the trainer if she would do me a favor and let me borrow her
tiger. I said, 'Is it a nice tiger?' and she said it was. I said,
'Will it bite me?' and she said no. I had her knock on the door when
her act was over. We were still in the dressing room at halftime.
She knocked on the door, and I reached out and got that tiger by its
leash and collar and walked it in. The players all scattered. I
said, 'If you guys don't start rebounding, I'm going to let this
eat.' At the time, the players didn't think
it was funny. They didn't laugh. But it _was_ funny. It was great."
1/18 Dick Motta, before the game, on how the
Mavs were going to contain O'Neal: "I don't know." (He then expanded
on it a little bit, but the first part and pause was funny.)
Reebok sent the wrong shoes to Scott Brooks.
Brooks: "I tried them on and said, 'Wait a minute. Either I've grown
and I'm 6 foot 3 or these are women's shoes.' I don't know. Maybe
they think I play like a girl."
10/31 Scott Williams' bizarre injuries:
missed 4 days of practice after hurting his shoulder during the
team's annual bowling outing; a few days later, hurt his back
lifting a TV he bought on sale; and hurt the tendon behind his right
kneecap while stretching last Friday and could be lost for the
From the You've Got to Be Kidding
department: Talking about rookie contracts, "There was one clause
put in this year called a comprehensive guarantee," said Bob Bass,
Spurs exec. "In case of suicide, the team still has to pay the
1/9 The Lakers did give Kurt Rambis his
$250,000 bonus after being re-signed by the Lakers. [Recall that
Rambis was released by the Lakers the day before he was going to get
a $250,000 bonus for still being on the roster.] Rambis: "I feel
like I'm Jason from Friday the 13th movies. They keep telling me I'm
1/16 San Antonio coach John Lucas walked up
to redhead Dennis Rodman during a practice and gave him a $100 bill.
Lucas: "Here, go get your hair bleached. You aren't worth a damn as
a redhead." Rodman's hair is now either a dark purple or a dark
1/23 Coach John Lucas (SA) again on Dennis
Rodman (SA): "Dennis ain't as crazy as he seems. I would leave my
kids with him."
1/23 Bobby Hurley after attending a Kings
game: "I think that's been the hardest thing of all, not being able
to compete in anything after doing it all my life. I'm down to
trying to beat my girlfriend in Gensis (video games)."
1/23 Tom Tolbert (LAC) on the team playing
at the Forum due to structural damage to the Clippers' regular home
court: "Let's play at the Inglewood YMCA or someplace where we can
have a sellout."
1/23 During a loss to the Clippers, Boston
coach Chris Ford looked down his bench and shouted, "Will one of you
guys please wake up and play? Just one of you."
1/27 Charles Barkley (Pho): "I was the top
vote-getter for the All-Star Game, and I want to thank all the fans
for that. I should have gotten traded sooner. Then, you get those
votes from two different states."
1/31 Former Dal coach Dick Motta, who is now
advising current Dal coach Quinn Buckner, when asked if he felt
awkward around Dal's management in light of his criticisms of them
earlier in January: "Hell, no. I don't think I was like Columbus and
discovered something new, did I?"
2/6 Scottie Pippen (Chi) on his new bald
look: "I stayed in the barber chair too long." [Pippen is letting
his hair grow back out.]
2/6 The latest fad for Dallas is emu oil.
Trainer Doug Atkinson has been importing the rubbing ointment from
Australia at $30 a bottle. Fat Lever uses it and has been playing
very well for the past two weeks. During a free throw break in
Wednesday's game in Minnesota, Tony Campbell came to the bench and
begged Atkinson to rub some emu oil on his leg. The oil's use has
become so wide spread on the team that it has become a running gag.
Tim Legler said Greg Dreiling has become obsessed with the oil.
Legler: "He's been dunking in layup lines. That's when some of the
veterans got into it. They said, 'If that guy is dunking, it must be
a miracle drug."
2/18 What public statement cost Ron Harper
$48,780? "I'm just doing my jail time. In about 65 or 70 more days,
my time is up, and I'll be out on G.B., good behavior." The Clippers
suspended Harper for one game for the statement. Harper becomes an
unrestricted free agent at the end of the season.
2/20 Danny Schayes (Mil) when asked how he
was doing: "I don't get to play. The team stinks. My wife lives in
Denver, and it's been 20-below most of the winter."
3/6 Bob Weiss, Clipper coach, after the loss
to Houston: "Except for offense, defense, rebounding, and turnovers,
we had a good game."
3/20 Scott Skiles (Orl) after a loss to
Chicago in which Shaquille O'Neal and Anfernee Hardaway combined for
14 turnovers: "We can't handle the pressure. We haven't handled the
pressure all season. We want to win big games, but we don't play
well. We're soft. We play like we have skirts on."
3/20 Dan Majerle (Pho) on the Indiana
Pacers' poor free throw shooting and their second chance shots (they
went 32-48 FT and had 27 second chance points in the Pho-Ind game) :
"They shoot them so bad, sometimes you can't tell where they're
2/27 Dan Issell, Denver head coach, when
asked if a victory over the Bulls in Chicago meant the Nuggets had
turned the corner: "We've turned more corners this season than a New
York cab driver."
3/27 Sean Elliott (Det) on coach Don Chaney
who just turned 48: "I don't know how old he is, but after what
we've put him through this season, he's lucky he doesn't look 70."
3/27 Glen Rice (Mia) on playing in Denver:
"It feels like you've got someone sitting on your chest. I can't
breathe. I can't stand it when you get into a run-and-gun game
there. You go up and down the court twice and say, 'Whoa, slow
3/27 Coach Larry Brown (Ind) after a 93-61
loss to Cleveland: "At least we held them under 100."
3/27 Horace Grant (Chi) on Madonna's
comments that she wants to own a NBA team: "I know one thing. Wives
and girlfriends would be saying, 'No way are you going to that
3/30 After the 117-92 trouncing by the San
Antonio Spurs, a lot of criticism was directed at Dallas, including
some from the players themselves. Tim Legler: "We couldn't beat ...
<pause> us. We couldn't even beat us. I was trying to think of
somebody bad, and I couldn't think of anybody else. Us."
4/1 Chicago coach Phil Jackson when asked if
B.J. Armstrong had a beef with how he is used: "B.J. does not eat
beef. B.J. is a vegetarian, so I don't think he has any beef at
4/1 Philadelphia coach Fred Carter, whose
team has lost 23 of its last 24: "I wouldn't know how to feel if we
won. I'd probably say, is it over? Check the scorebook. I'd probably
just stare at the scoreboard and feel the euphoria."
4/10 John Salley (Mia): "I like pressure.
Pressure is what creates diamonds."
4/10 Elmore Spencer (LAC) forgot to set his
clock ahead for Daylight Savings Time and arrived moments before the
game against Houston. Loy Vaught started in his place.
4/17 Portland coach Rick Adelman on
Portland's lost to Dallas: "At least we won't have to play them
(Dallas) in the playoffs. That's a good sign."
4/17 Sacramento coach Garry St. Jean's job
is apparently safe. Team owner Jim Thomas said, "He's got the
contract, and I don't like to waste money."
5/1 John Salley (Mia) on the playoffs: "When
the playoffs come, I don't worry if my hair is not combed, if my
breath is bad, if I haven't flossed."
5/29 (While the Hou-Uta series was still
going on) Jeff Hornacek when asked why he and his wife planned to
have a child during the playoffs: "Hey, I was with the Sixers."
Dominique Wilkins is being razzed by his
fellow Dream Team IIers. They have given him the nicknames of
Grandpa and Antique.
"I'm just glad it wasn't Detroit. I don't
like anybody there." - J.R. Reid after being traded to San Antonio.
"Every night, when you lay your head on your
pillow, you say, 'Wow, I'm one of 300.' Of course, 50 of us (are)
real bad." - Scott Hastings on being in the NBA.
"Shut up, you little Smurf." - Gary Payton
running by excited T'Wolves coach Sidney Lowe.
"When I die my tombstone will say, 'He was
underrated. Now he's underground.'" - Terry Porter on his career.
"I think we'll go big." - Don Nelson on the
conditional pick in 2001 the Warriors got for Ed Nealy.
"If we stay free of injuries, we'll be in
contention to be a healthy team." - Chris Morris on his hopes for
"What are they going to do, beat us worse?"
- Doug Moe after calling the Bulls and Jordan a bunch of stiffs.
"Moses Malone used to have them all the
time, but we never understood anything he said." - Jon Koncak after
the Hawks had a team meeting and won 12 of 13.
"He would drive people insane and then just
walk away. He was like Gandhi." - Chuck Daly on Bill Laimbeer.
And a couple pulled from the 1995 book
Basketball Shorts by Glenn Liebman (has 1001 basketball quotes,
including some good ones from college)
Jerry Reynolds: "If God had an agent, the
world wouldn't be built yet. It'd only be about Thursday."
Terry Francona, Jordan's minor league
baseball manager on giving Jordan his daily meal money: "There's
something odd about going up to Michael Jordan and slipping him $16
Charles Barkley on being misquoted in his
autobiography: "That was my fault. I should have read it before it
Bob Weiss on Atlanta's '92 prospects: "We're
going to be exciting. Of course, it was exciting when the Titanic
Scott Hastings on the expansion team in
Miami: "I'm scared. I think I'm the best player here."
Derrick Coleman on why he wouldn't go
hunting with then teammate Jayson Williams: "I'm not going hunting
with anyone who plays the same position as me."
Eddie Johnson: "It's nice just to play
against [Jordan]. Sometimes you get your picture in the paper."
Jerry Sloan: "In my prime I could have
handled Michael Jordan. Of course, he would be only 12 years old."
And a college one that I loved Ron Shumate
(Southeastern Missouri coach) on his team's poor shooting: "It's so
bad that the players are giving each other high fives when they hit